But He Loves Me
by T3h Toby-Chan
Summary: (Shonen ai) Ryou has to deal with an abusive relationship, but he's always alone... or so he may think. (One-shot)


**"But He Loves Me"**  
  
By- Toby-Chan  
  
A cute lil' one-shot by me!  
  
A/N: Hello! You folks have the privelege of reading my first Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic. Don't you feel special? ^_^ *Waves a banner for you* Enjoy it, please. (Plus, there's some brownies to seal the deal if you review. *wink wink*)  
  
Warnings: Some mild shounen ai themes, abusive relationships, mild swearing, and some severe angstiness followed by severe sweetness.  
  
Ryou x Bakura-centric, with some trace elements of Ryou x Yami.  
  
Too many warnings. Maybe I should just get on with the fargin' fic. -_-;  
  
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It was one of those nights. Those that have nothing really particularly unique about them. The seasons were changing, so it was neither hot or cold, just the place lingering between, where it wasn't at all unpleasant to go walking outside.  
But really, how the weather feels depends on whoever you're asking. For those with a cheery disposition and somehwere to go, it was just fine, but there were those who felt lonely in the world, with nobody to care about them, or at least for the moment, it was cold.  
That night, Ryou was cold. Damn cold. He knew he had someone to look to, but wasn't so sure he wanted to head in that direction. Only hoping he didn't run into his Yami, who was also out, but Ra knows where he was, Ryou set out to brace the chill.  
Shot after shot he devoured as he slumped over the counter at a local bar, he still couldn't take the bite out of the nagging little worry in his mind. For the most part, the bar was empty, so there was nobody to come along and whine along with him about how much life sucked. And instead of having a nice, concerned bartender with sage-like advice, there was a cold impersonal man behind the counter, cleaning glasses and minding his own business.  
Ryou supposed it was all better that way. Better than having to feel pathetic once again by spilling his life story. Better than the odd looks he recieved when he ever showed somebody a picture of himself and Bakura, looking more like his twin than his boyfriend. The more he reminded himself that he couldn't let people know that Bakura was an Egyptian spirit, the more he felt ashamed, and would rather hide everything about his aibou.  
He traced his finger along the edge of his sake glass, staring blankly into the center of the cup, trying to see some sort of reflection. He saw nothing. The images stayed in his mind, where they were safe, but not harmless.  
He sighed. The sake usually helped. Getting drunk brought around an artificial warm fuzzy feeling, even if that fuzz faded quickly. Now he just felt colder and lonlier. More vulnerable.  
Subconsiously his hand drifted to his side, where the fresh bruise was still tender. When his eyes drifted shut, he saw a flash of the hand that struck him, and they flew open again. Worried of the things inside his own head, he hastily downed the rest of his glass.  
There were so many things that set Ryou apart from his Yami. There was so much contempt in Bakura's voice, every time he spoke to the hikari.  
  
There were so many times that Bakura had gotten angry at Ryou for not being stronger. So many times that Bakura was just angry. Whatever the case was, it only ended in one thing; consequences for Ryou.  
Being scorned and belittled were part of the daily diet for him. That's really all it began with. Bakura used Ryou, and did everything he could to keep him under power. Ryou, being the timid person he was, resisted at first, but eventually gave in, and quietly accepted all the wrong things his aibou did.  
It was really no surprise then, when Bakura began beating him. He was startled when it began just with the occasional slap, but he forgave, and told himself it was the last time. When the darker one saw that he had no effect on the boy, he used more of his physical strength on the frail hikari.  
What really gave him power, though, was Ryou's surrender. He could see from the beginning, how Ryou admired, maybe even loved him. That was where his true control got force. Every time one of their fights came up, Bakura would come to Ryou, as he was frightened and confused, and say,  
"You know I love you, don't you?"  
From those words, Ryou's heart was split. He was loved, and that was all that mattered, right?  
With this, it was obvious.  
Bakura owned him.  
Ryou scratched on the wooden bar, and tried to put his thoughts in order. He had a feeling he was supposed to be somewhere. He just wasn't sure. No doubt Bakura's beating him within an inch of his life had something to do with his memory loss.  
"It's probably nothing." He muttered to himself, and ordered another drink.  
  
In his room, right beside the window, Yami sat back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He gazed over at Yugi, snuggled safely in the covers of his own twin bed, which matched Yami's right down to the Duel Monster blankets, (Yugi's idea).  
It wasn't all that late, but poor Yugi was just exhausted. It had been a long day, with the entire gang going out, minus Ryou and Bakura.  
  
**"Hey, where's Ryou? He should have been here by now." Anzu inquired, leaning against the movie theatre door."  
"He's probably makin' out with Bakura somewhere," Jounochi said with a wide grin, "Now, C'mon! The movie's startin'."  
"Fine, Mister pushy." Honda shoved his hands into his pockets and followed the group. Yugi was the only one who lingered by the door for a moment.  
"Yugi, aren't you coming?" Yami turned and offered a hand to Yugi, who was staring worriedly.  
"What about Ryou and Bakura?" Yugi asked, his face set in an innocent concern.  
"They'll be fine. Don't worry." Yami set a hand on Yugi's shoulder to comfort him. Yugi looked back for a second, then breathed and smiled a little,  
"Yeah, I guess you're right.**  
  
Yugi had certainly believed Yami, when he said everything would be fine. Now if he could have only convinced himself it was okay.  
It certainly wasn't unlike Ryou to cancel outings on last minute occasions, but there was a little worry that was itching Yami's brain. It could have just been stress, but he couldn't get rid of it.  
Not nearly comfortable with just letting it be, he picked up a few books and flipped on a reading lamp. At the top of his pile, was a modest little photo album, a cheap book with worn edges from being re-opened and pushed around.  
The small puff of wind from opening it made his bangs sway a little bit, as he paged through the captured memories. Jounochi flexing his nonexistant muscles, Anzu grabbing a blushing Honda into a full force glomp, and Mai's neverending gallery of sexy poses. All in the repetoir of their group interactions.  
Then there were the beach pictures. He skimmed past the photos of Otogi getting flocked by numerous girls, Jouno kicking sand onto a sunbathing Anzu, and Anzu getting her revenge by dropping a crab in the offender's shorts, before he finally found a picture of Ryou and Bakura.  
At first glance, they looked so happy together. Enjoying themselves on the beach, lovingly leaning onto eachother. Although Yami wouldn't admit it, with his hate for the tomb robber, they certainly made a cute couple.  
One thing he remembered was how Ryou had been so reluctant to take off his sweatshirt that day.  
"I burn easily." He had whined, "And it's cold."  
It hadn't been cold that day. It was really quite a picturesque scenario for a day at the beach. Eventually they had gotten him to wear his tank top for the photo, because it would look wierd for him to be wearing long sleeves on a hot beach.  
Yami peered closer at the picture. Bakura's confident grin sent an aura through the photo that made it seem fine, but there was something uneasy about Ryou's smile. He seemed happy and affectionate, but sort of discomforting as well.  
"Just not photogenic?" Yami asked himself. Then he spied Ryou's arms. It was barely noticable, probably not even there. Little red nail marks on his upper arm surrounded by light bruises.  
Yami had always suspected a little trouble about the two, though never really thought anything of it. But still, he was troubled by the small nail marks, and even more so that the same marks were pressed around Ryou's neck.  
"Ra..." He whispered, blinking slowly, "Then, Ryou..."  
He got up, his stockinged feet making the floor squeak slightly, and paused as he passed by Yugi's bed to tussle his hair. Yugi really was especially cute when he was sleeping.  
"I'm just going to borrow this," He whispered, reaching to the puzzle Yugi had on his nightstand.  
"Mpmh," Yugi stirred in his sleep. Yami's heart always melted with an indescribable sort of affection when he was with Yugi. He felt protective of the boy, like an older brother, only with a deeper sense of understanding. And he could never imagine inflicting any sort of harm on his hikari.  
Thinking of this, made him worry more about Ryou, so he brought himself into the spirit room, and searched.  
  
Ryou still wasn't drunk enough to make sense of it all when the door swooshed open and another most likely irritated customer made his way into the haven of temporarily solved problems.  
"Kami-Sama, that's cold." He murmured, when the slow gust of wind followed the open door.  
"You really think so?" A familiar voice asked, and plunked down on the bar stool beside him.  
The white haired teenager slowly rotated his head to the voice, and his brain hiccuped a little, as he tried to figure out if this was real, or if he was just more drunk than he'd thought.  
"Yugi?" he asked, tentatively, hiccuping for real this time.  
"Close." The visitor replied.  
"Yami." Ryou said, rather apathetically looking downward, then pausing for a long time, seeing that the pharaoh wasn't starting the conversation, "How'd you find me here?"  
"I've discovered that I can find the locations of the other items through Yugi's puzzle. But I should be asking the same thing of you. How did you get here, when you're only seventeen?"  
"Tch." Ryou replied flicking back a lock of hair, "These things are so easy to make," He fished an I.D card out of his pocket, and showed it to Yami.  
"Terrance?" Yami asked skeptically.  
"Hey. It dosen't have to be a pretty name, long as it gets me in here." Ryou said, bringing the glass to his lips again.  
"I think you've had enough of that," Yami fluidly swiped away the cup.  
"So..." Ryou began, rather annoyed that Yami was taking his drink away.  
"So what?" Yami's unthreatening gaze kept Ryou still.  
"So... why'd you come here?"  
"You didn't come with to the movie." Yami offered to start.  
"I had other things to do," Ryou pouted, with no sign of giving more, "Can I have my drink back?"  
"No. I'm guessing your 'something else' was a pretty dangerous activity, judging from that bruise on your face."  
Another man walked into a bar, and a cold wind flew between the two.  
"Shit. Did it turn into a bruise?" Ryou asked, mostly giving it away.  
"A shiner," Yami replied, trying not to chuckle at the prospect of of Ryou-Chan swearing. Perhaps anything's possible provided you're drunk enough.  
Ryou lifted his finger to the swollen skin beneath his eye where it hurt slightly as he touched it.  
"Care to tell the story of that battle scar?" Yami locked his eyes with Ryou's for a moment.  
"I fell." Ryou replied bluntly.  
"Fell, hm? On what?"  
"None of your business, baka!" Ryou spun around angrily and crossed his arms.  
"Maybe it isn't my business, but you should know, it's not good to lie."  
"I'm not lying!" Ryou turned back and raised his arm to hit the stupid pharaoh. Yami, expecting this, was able to catch the boy's wrist, and keep a good grip on it. Ryou twisted and yanked to try to get his arm out, then finally snarled and pulled it back when Yami let go.  
He bent over the counter angrily, and let his frustration simmer down.  
He took a deep breath before saying.  
"You know... Bakura always did that too... when I tried to fight back." He said it so quietly, he almost couldn't hear it himself.  
The cold air returned, swirling around Ryou's thin frame and enveloping his body, peeling away the layers of his lonliness.  
Yami looked up and down at Ryou, to make sure his first confession hadn't scared him out of talking more.  
"So it was Bakura who gave you that?" Yami asked, indicating Ryou's darkening eye.  
"I never said that-!" Ryou began and slowed down,  
"Yeah, he did. But, it was just an accident."  
"Some accident. He got you square on the face."  
"But it was!"  
"Well, what about your cut lip last week? Or your sprained wrist? Or those little nail marks on your arms? I'd say that's a hell of a lot of accidents."  
Ryou's hands moved defenseively over his arms, as he shrank away into himself.  
There weren't any words, but Ryou knew he was caught. He felt so shameful, as though it was his fault this all was happening. His fault for getting the bruises.  
Breaking the silence, Yami asked,  
"Why don't you leave him?"  
A freezing numbness hit the pit of Ryou's stomach, spreading upward into his chest, where his heart raced.  
"I... I can't do that." He muttered, averting his gaze.  
"Why not."  
"Because... because h- he-" Ryou trailed into whispering so quietly, the last words couldn't be heard.  
"Because what?"  
"Because he loves me, okay?" Anger flared in the young man's eyes again.  
The pharaoh was nearly at a loss of words. His thoughts drifted on to the people he cared about. Yugi, Anzu, Jouno, all of his friends. But he thought of Yugi's smiling face, and Ryou's akward grin. How could somebody do that if they truly cared?  
"That's not love." he said, finding his voice. Ryou and Bakura had been an official couple for quite some time now, but now that he knew what really went on, everything changed.  
"But he really does care. He just wants to protect me. He only hits me when I'm-" Ryou paused, frantically searching for justification, "I know he's sorry."  
"How do you know?"  
Ryou didn't reply, because he didn't know. He always assumed it, though. Like it was an apology, every time Bakura came to him and said, "I love you." He always knew that this time would be the last. Bakura would stop hurting him, and they could be happy together. A real couple. If they only worked hard at it. If only he worked hard at it.  
"If I just work at it, I know I can get Bakura's good side to come out. It's not his fault. He can change." Ryou said desperately, pleading toward Yami, as though he would make it better, "He's had a hard life. He's just angry. I need to be there for him."  
"Trust me. That tomb robber did fine for several thousand years without you." Yami said with a little bitterness in his voice. He only noticed too late that that was the wrong thing to say.  
Ryou's lip trembled, as he looked mournfully at his hands.  
"I guess you're both right." He said, "I am worthless. I just... thought- for once I could be useful." Some tears welled in his mahogany eyes, threatening to break over his lids and spill as they had been wanting to for so long.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."  
"How do I know you're really sorry?" Ryou turned away, let down. He thought he had found an outlet for his lonliness, but so it seemed, Yami was against him as well.  
"How do I know you're not lying to me? Why should I care?" Ryou sobbed, burying his face in his folded arms as he leaned against the counter.  
He flinched for a second as he sensed a hand nearing him. Every time that happened, it was usually Bakura's hand, reaching out to grab a fistfull of hair while he yelled at his aibou.  
But he felt no contact, just the hand stayed near his wrist. He looked up at Yami's softening face, as he extended his hand to the despairing hikari.  
Ryou blinked the tears away and looked at the offered hand, before he reached out his, and softly grasped it.  
He marveled in plain wonder at the simplicity of this, but the greatness of it as well. Yami's soft hand didn't hurt him, or force him anywhere. He wasn't trying to get anything out of it. Just a simple hand holding another. He moved his paralyzed fingers on Yami's palm, a small smile breaking his lips.  
Without a second's notice, he sprang at Yami, enveloping him in a safe, grateful hug. The tears ran down his cheeks now, trickling in little clear waterfalls.  
"Thank you." He whispered, resting his chin on Yami's shoulder, gripping the cloth of his jacket as he bit his lip. It wasn't much, just a simple hug. But it felt so much more important to him than any of Bakura's forced kisses. And the best part was, Yami returned the embrace, and the compassion that came with it.  
For the first time in so long, Ryou felt safe. The image of Bakura melted from his mind, and his thoughts for now, were only the arms and heartbeat of the Yami so close to him.  
Ryou breathed easily, taking in the Yami's simple scent, and the pattern of his breathing, trying to match with his own.  
"Do you want to go home?" Yami asked, not loosening his grip. Ryou pulled away a little, and looked into Yami's amethyst eyes.  
"But, what home do I have to go to? I can't go back where Bakura is."  
"You can come over night at least for now. I'm sure Mouto-san won't mind."  
The white haired teen just smiled gratefully and hugged Yami again.  
"I'll take that as a yes, then." Yami said, "I'll get a cab for us."  
  
It didn't take much waiting on the outside bench before the taxi pulled up. Ryou was feeling so sleepy he could hardly stand. He yawned, rising to his feet, using the pharaoh's shoulder for balance. Yami guided him into the back seat of the cab, and followed in.  
He watched out the window, as the dim lights passed by like stars, making him feel a bit dizzy. He leaned comfortably against Yami's shoulder and felt himself beginning to doze.  
Resting peacefully Yami's arms, he felt that for the first time in a very long time, he was warm again.  
  
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* The End *  
  
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A/N: ^_^ That was really fun to write! I did this whole thing in one sitting. (A very long sitting, mind you) This is my first ever Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, but I'm happy with it. To tell you the truth, I never liked Yu-Gi-Oh much, until some of my friends showed me how great it could be. Then I started to read the manga, and I realized that it was more that just the "Silly card show" my little sister watched every day. So, basically, I've gone from hater to lover in a very short time.  
  
I hope you enjoyed that fic. If you loved it or hated it, or whatever, don't be ashamed to review it.  
  
Much love from the Toby! 


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